Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Hello Dolls!

My name is Fabiola and I am like many other girls who struggle with weight and self esteem. I have attempted many times to loose weight and feel better about my physical image. Many times I achieved my goal of loosing a few pounds but those few pounds always found their way back into my body. Mainly because I always left "bread crumbs" as a trail for my "lost" pounds to follow and find me. By bread crumbs I literally mean bread crumbs because after all my eating habits never changed.
Though I would follow some crazy diet to loose those unwanted pounds, I never really changed the way I looked at food. I looked at it as a means of bringing pleasure to myself. I can still feel that relaxing and peaceful feeling I received from eating a delicious piece of milky chocolate.
This feeling is of course something that I am not so much proud of. I actually am ashamed of feeling this way and that is why I opted for "closet eating."
Closet eating is by far my worst addiction. Just like many drug users, find an isolated place to get high on their drug, I isolated myself to get high on food.
Just like many drug addicts hide from others their addiction from their loved ones,  I also hid my addiction to food; especially to chocolate.
My addiction to food has enabled me to really love myself. I am a very active person.. I do many physical activities and I am proud to say that I have proven to have better physical endurance than many "skinny" girls I have encountered at the gym.
Being lazy is NOT ALWAYS my problem. I say always because there are time that my addiction to food has stopped me from going to the gym or from taking a nice afternoon walk with my hubby and dog.
Have you ever heard that saying… you are what you eat? Well, if you haven't I will like to tell you that it's very much true. There have been many times when I feel energetic but a few moments later after eating donuts or a hamburger all I want to do is take a nap!
I am not saying that after I ate a hamburger I turned into a hamburger, that would be ridiculous! :) But I know that this type of food made me lazy and sluggish due to lack of nutrients found in "good"foods.
I will be the first one to admit that my diet lacks many of the "good" foods our body needs.
First of all, I am a coffee whore! I will do anything for a good cup of coffee. There is not a day that will go by without at least drinking 3-4 cups of coffee to start my day. If you know me, you know that you don't try to take my coffee away from me or you are at risk of being decapitated. :0)
A couple of years ago I tried the HGC diet, in one of my many attempts to loose those unwanted pounds. During this diet it is prohibited to drink coffee. With this being said you can already imagine why this diet failed for me.Well, besides that fact that you were only allowed to limit yourself to 500 calories per day and starve yourself for a 60 day period.
Coffee has been a great part of my life. I grew up drinking coffee since I can remember.
Before you start judging I will like to tell that not everyone in the world is as fortunate as many people here in the United States.
Growing up in Mexico in a house hold with a limited budget, and three other siblings, sometimes the only way you could get milk into your diet was by drinking coffee. My mom was very imaginative when it came to making a small carton of milk last for her four children. She would make coffee and add it to our milk to make it last longer. Though the amount of coffee she added to our milk was very minimal, the aroma and distinguished taste of coffee is what I remember the most.
Coffee is more than just a fashion statement to me. Carrying my cup of coffee while walking at the mall to look fashionable is not my "cup of coffee" (this is me trying to be funny).
Coffee is more like a comfort drink to me.  Just like chocolate or food, Coffee has a great amount of power over my emotions and my attitude.
My wonderful husband will be the first one to agree that I become an ogre when I am hungry or craving something to eat or before I have my coffee fix.
I feel sorry for him and all my other loved ones who put up with my moodiness during this ogre stage.
I hate to admit that food and coffee have me grabbed by the "balls."
They control my emotions at any given time!
My parents raised me to have the mentality that no one can control my life, and so far I have made my parents proud on that.  Yes, I have not let ANYONE control my life But I have failed in the sense that sadly I have allowed food and coffee take over my life and control it.
Here is my pledge to stop that addiction and go to rehab therapy with my readers.
I am committed to live an addiction free life!
Here is the the beginning.


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